Can’t share with anyone

This is eating me inside .I can’t tell anyone what I am going through. It’s really very painful. When I think it’s normal now and with in seconds I thought about that time and it felt like it is happening to me again and again. 3 or 4 years are not enough I think it needs decades to be normal thing I hope just hope someday I’ll pass through these thoughts without affecting. I don’t want to wait until death I can’t

Careless

I was careless when I didn’t understand people reality.Now I know what they meant to say and I am in tension every time I meet someone. It was better that time people were maybe making fun of me behind my back but I think I was good person and to be good feels good .What really matters is happiness ,satisfaction for me.But people around me changed me . Now I feel like I’m so weak. There was times I always find good in everything every situation. I was so positive. I think I’m grownup now but wants to be old me…

Betrayal

What is betrayal ? We say he betrayed me because he cheated on me or he lied to me. But how can we define betrayal. Every thing that makes us hurt is betrayal! I don’t know. Sticking in one relationship and make tons and tons of promises and not be able to fulfill them is it betrayal? I am very confused like these lines. I don’t know.

That’s why I afraid to be happy

Is this ever happened to you one day you are at extreme level of happiness and suddenly all your happiness disappear and you left with all sorrows of your life. It happens to me all the time. My birthday was on 24 June and I was fool to think that everything is going to be right. All is well. But I was wrong and I always will be. Now it is confirmed that this is permanent so I can never be truly happy.

Bounded Freedom

Yes we are independent. We have freedom to do anything we want. But are we really are independent. No we all are bound to our emotions towards others. To be totally free you have to be selfish. But we can’t be selfish for ourselves because we always find happiness in the company of others. We can’t be happy if we are alone and to be with someone means you have to make that someone happy. So we all are bounded in our own mind.

I am ok

Yes this is exactly what they want to listen. Nobody in this world is interested to hear what is happening in your life they will never understand. So I promised to myself that know for others I will always be ok. Yeh I am ok.

I can’t sleep

I just can’t sleep. All meaningless thoughts keeps me up all night.Why even I am thinking about that person who even don’t deserve this. But I just want all this to be stopped now. He did that and just moved on .Now its time for me to get over him and have closure